Last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy hit close to home. Umali’s dad underwent surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. Turned out that the cancer was already widespread in his body and undergoing surgery would be fatal. Still, since before the surgery the patient requested that the surgery be done no matter what, the doctors honored his wishes. As a result, he was put on life support after the surgery, there’s no more hope that he will wake up and recover. The cancer was never disclosed to Umali. Had he known, he would have advised against the surgery.

He angrily told the surgeons that they should have known better. It’s a waste of life because he would have enjoyed a few more months with the family.

The whole family, his mom and 2 brothers, were crying. They were advised that either they wait for him to wake up which is very unlikely or they take him out of life support. His organs are failing. They all turned to Umali, being a doctor himself. He was crying but he made a firm decision, they should take their father out of life support. It was really painful, he said, a machine breathing for you and all your organs dying.

He unplugged the machine.

When my mom was comatosed, we were told by the doctors that even if she wakes up, she’ll end up paralyzed and brain damaged. My dad didn’t want to decide so everyone turned to me and made me decide… do we unplug the life support then and there or wait for a few more days. I decided that we should unplug it. My mom’s eyes were wide open, she looked like she was breathing but in truth she was half dead already.

At exactly 9:30 in the morning of September 29, 2005, my mom was taken out of life support.

Euthanasia is still a big issue right now. I was against it before. But faced with the big question of whether you want your love one (my mom in my case) to suffer indefinitely or end her suffering for her, I finally understood the side of those pro-euthanasia. It was a hard decision to make. There’s a nagging doubt in your mind if you’re doing the right thing. What if she wakes up and recovers? But it was explained to us in detail how the massive organ failure affected my mom’s body and what is the consequence if she wakes up. I didn’t want to take that chance. I didn’t want to see my mom suffer even more.

Yes, I am pro-euthanasia now. I told my siblings that if ever the same thing happens to me, take me out of life support asap. My dad told us the same thing.

Your opinion may differ from mine now. But believe me, when you’re in the same situation, everything else will be different.


  • bry

    I’m sorry to hear your story ate sash (sob)

    I’m pro euthanasia too. Kahit nung nagkaron kami ng dabate when I was in High School, I don’t know but I’m in favor of it.

    Anyway, I just want to share with you the dream that I had last night. It’s like real!I woke up crying. The dream was clear. Eto, my tita called me to break the news that my mom died (she’s in abroad right now), everybody else knew it but me. My father passed the phone to me to speak with my tita. My siblings are listening. Our conversation was long then she suddenly broke the news when I was at ease talking to her.

    I felt that I was crying. I thought it was real… Then it’s really weird. the dream suddenly shifted into a scene where I was swimming together with my friends. Their faces were unclear. We were laughing. Naalala ko lang habang tinytype ko’to na namatay yung lola ko (mom’s mom), exactly the day when we had a summer outing with my father side’s relatives. Nagswimming din kami ng day na ‘yon the after a week pa namin nalaman na patay na yung lola ko.

    Today, we have a team outing. Swimming in Laguna. I just texted my office mates na di na ko makakasama. I’m afraid eh. If it weren;t for the dream, sama sana ako kasi farewell na nila sakin yung outing na yon!

    I’m so paranoid, am I? Actually I’m the last person that would believe in superstitions but I love my mom.

    Bottom line is, I felt so much hurt and loneliness just by the thought of losing my mom and there you are ate sash, you have moved on and go on with ur life. I’m sure your mom is guiding you from heaven. Read my post na sobrang anxious at paranoid ako… Grabe… natatakot ako! hehe…

    Wala lang, thanks for the space and gusto ko lang mag-vent and ishare tong experience na’to, this is the first time that I was given a sign… Pocha…

    I’m looking for a better day tomorrow πŸ™‚

  • Bry, you’re not paranoid. That dream kasi can be one way of warning you na had you joined your team in Laguna, something bad awaits you there. Then again, it can be a manifestation of your longing to see your mom. You miss her so much siguro and you’re suppressing the feeling tapos sa dream nag-manifest.

    Mahirap kapag moms na ang usapan. Para kasing there’s this invisible bond talaga between us na hirap i-break. Tapos mas mahirap sa mga tulad natin na super close at love ang moms natin.

    Alam mo ba when my mom was still awake bago sya na-comatose, she kept on calling me, telling me na hirap na hirap na sya. Tapos hawak ko lang kamay niya the whole time, telling her na cge hintay lang at darating na doctor, not knowing na mawawala na pala sya a few hours afterwards. I still hear her calling me at night. Naiiyak pa rin ako whenever I see her face, contorted in pain. Naiiyak pa rin ako when I see in my mind how she breathed her last. Ewan ko ba. Si Grey’s Anatomy kasi kagabi. Iyak kami ng iyak ng mga kapatid ko. Nobody’s mentioning anything pero deep in our hearts, umiiyak kami because we remember our mom. Hay…

    Pray, Bry. It’ll be a better day tomorrow πŸ™‚

  • Kyels

    Ate, I’m sorry to hear ’bout this sad story … *hugs*

    We cannot decide what is wrong or right when it comes to Euthanasia because if we are not in such a situation, we would not know how to react. It’s always the situation that will generate our decisions.

  • bry

    hanks ate sasha… grabe nga yang mga series na yan eh, masyadong nakakatouch ng feelings unlike yung mga teleserye dito sa’tin ka-kontrabidahan ang lumalabas… hehe

    pwede palang pang MMK ang experience mo with your mom, kung sakin nangyari yun, surely dadamdamin ko yon for several years. may tendency pa naman akong maging-‘gago’ pag depressed and down. I drink and smoke a lot. Hehe…

    I know na dadaan naman tayo sa ganyan, I witnessed my parents when their parents died and yung mom ko naglupasay talaga sa iyak. haay.. pangit tong topic na’to… arrrgh…

    thanks sa lahat ng advices and comments. though, nalunglot ako kasi gusto ko talaga sumama sa outing, it brought me peace na I’ve decided not to come.

    I’ll surely pray hard this night!

    good day!

  • hi Sasha!

    I understand this issue fully. I’ve experienced it first hand. My Grandfather suffered a stroke, when he reached the hospital, they put him onto this breathing machine (sorry if I lack knowledge in medicine) which was the only thing keeping him alive.

    My dad had to make the choice of letting him go because he didn’t want his father to suffer. it was really heart-wrenching and difficult for us all.

  • Ako din, ayokong maging pabigat sa family ko. Aside from the expense they will have to face, the prolonged agony is harder to bear. Have a nice weekend, anak. Naka-singit ako sa hectic schedule ko. Ingat.

  • hello ate sashing.. makiki ate na rin ako ha…

    i was about topost the same topic but i held it for a month kasi may mga nakapending akong topic sa blog gawa ng transformers hehehe napanood ko na..

    anyhow i have a beautiful story about that.. my friend’s actual experience… i saw their dad (who was close to me) when he was still comatose in makati med. but i’ll hold my horses for now.

    i’m sorry I about your mom. I really understand that it is a difficult decision for you, not just as the eldest (ba?) but also as a daughter and as a catholic/christian.

    my friend (tatlo sila na magkakapatid na kaibigan ko) had the say dilemma. anyhow if you could tell me her name maybe I can include her in my private prayers. God Bless.

  • Same thing happened to us when my Dad lay dying on the hospital bed a little more than two years ago. He wasn’t comatose or anything, he was slowly wasting away.

    It had been a long, drawn-out battle for everyone.We were all physically, and financially drained. And even if we DID have the resources to keep him breathing, it wouldn’t do him (or everyone)much good. Because of that, we, the family, made the decision for the doctors NOT to revive him should he go through another arrest.

    It was painful, especially for my Mom who had to sign the papers. But, it had to be done.

    To this day, I still wonder if my Dad would’ve approved of our decision…

  • So sad to hear about your mom πŸ™ You were really brave to do it.

    But I too am for it! I told my hubby and my kids should I suffer the same consequence, I don’t want them to prolong their agony… just unplug it! At least, they need not worry of how I will decide, they know na.

    Anyway, God bless and hope you have a happy weekend!

  • My tatay was comatosed after his second stroke and basically it was a gone case. My siblings decided to pull the plug, which we all know that my father would have chosen so. I wasn’t there but I know it was heart wrenching decision. I myself is thinking of signing a “living will” which will spare my loveones the guilt and agony of deciding whether to pull the plug or not in case it happens to me (katok sa kahoy…)

  • am so sorry about what happened to you and your family, sha … that was a hard burden for you to bear … shouldn’t happen to any kid! πŸ™
    me, am pro-euthanasia, too. wouldn’t want my family to be burdened.
    wouldn’t want my son or hubby to decide for me when that happens, too … basta may understanding na kami. well, actually, nakaka-depress pag-usapan and we still need to sit down and talk things over, but that’s my side. unplug. πŸ™‚

    ps. di ko alam pano umpisahan yung paggawa ng blog!!!! waaahhhh… saan ko ilalagay yung template na napili ko? do i need to install/upload wordpress? help po … if you’ve got time. πŸ™‚
    *i’m hollering, like what you told me i should do if ever i need help…* πŸ˜€
    happy weekend!

  • I’ve told my husband and kids that it’s what I want, too, since I wouldn’t be able to speak to them at that time. And I wouldn’t even want to be attached to a machine in the first place. If my medical condition is such that there’s no hope of a cure, I’d rather stay home with my family and spend the time and resources enjoying the precious hours together. Just give me enough pain meds to keep me sane, thank you.

    You’ve given your Mom the gift of peace. My mom and dad also opted to spend their last days at home, in the loving arms of the family and without any further mechanical interventions.

    I don’t think God intends man to live unnaturally, just breathing through machines. Without the machines, He decides our fate.

  • I am sorry to hear about that. I am pro euthanasia as well. Coz for me i’d rather die than to live each day suffering. And also seeing a love one suffering can also bring long hardships to the family as well. Might as well end it so to make the living move on as well. That is of course a part of life

  • I’m sorry to hear about this Sasha. Somehow, there is a feeling of relief when the suffering is gone.

    There could be what ifs. But I would probably let death decide its course than do something to hasten it.