Gotcha!
by: Ross
These four friends, Ernie, Fred, Joey and Rolly, were so confident that the weekend before the finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to the Campus until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final exam, they decided that after the final, they wouild explain to their professor why they missed it. They would say that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a resiult, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day.
The four guys were exited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam. The Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy…..then they turned the page. On the second page was written….
For 95 points: Which tire?____
last weekend, i visited my family and friends sa zoo, guess what i found this coypu/nutria.
The coypu somewhat resembles a very large rat in appearance. Adults are typically 5–9 kg (10-20 lbs) in weight, and 40–60 cm (15-24 in) in body length, with a 30–45 cm (12-18 in) tail. They can also be identified by their bright orange-yellow incisor teeth (unlike rats, which have brownish yellow incisors).
letters
i got this letter today from friend’s forwarded email.
Dear Husband:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.
You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t touch me or anything. Either you’re cheating or you don’t love me anymore, what ever the case is, I’m gone.
P.S. If you’re trying to find me, don’t. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!Your EX-Wife
The response of the poor husband:
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn’t work.
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a man!” My mother raised me to not say…
anything if you can’t say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that’s not a problem.
