It’s always painful when someone close to your heart hurts you but when it’s the person that you are in a relationship with it can hurt just that little bit more. When we get into relationships we can struggle to fix the little things. And when we get to a certain point it can prove to be almost impossible. Working to fix a relationship is not about one person but it’s about working together. What can you do as a couple to ensure that you are both fixing your relationship?
There’s No Shame In Counseling
When a couple is going through a tough time, especially in terms of external problems that are impacting the relationship such as addiction, there is no shame in finding a counselor. Ultimately, plenty of people do it and there are so many different professional approaches to fixing a relationship, from couples rehab to going through therapy. The counseling is one of the best forums in which to start talking about it. If you’re going through a rough patch and you’re not able to find the right way to speak to yourselves about it, counseling can help you to move forward.
It’s not just about practicing it but actually putting it into motion. If you don’t forgive your partner it’s not going to improve. Whether it’s after betrayal or you’ve both realized that you’ve been psychologically beating each other it can be difficult to keep going through the same incidents in your mind again and again. This is why you’ve got to learn to forgive, but do it sincerely. But what does this mean? It’s about not bringing up the past. If there is a fight that happens if you use this down the line and it means that you bring something up from years prior it’s not about supplementing your defense in the argument. Everybody goes through tough times; it’s about singling out these problems as isolated incidents. Once you learn to make peace with problems in your past and start to seriously believe that you and your partner will work their best to be better for the relationship this is when you can progress forward.
Learn To Be Responsible And Accountable
Sure, it takes two to tango and while one person might be more guilty depending on the situation, if you’re both working to improve the relationship you’ve got to become accountable. If you did something wrong you need to apologize for it. It’s crucial that we realize that we are at fault. Once we start to take accountability for something we are recognizing we’ve made a grievous error and so we won’t make it again.
It is always possible to mend something that is broken but you have to work together. Sometimes you can be like ships in the night which means that you’ll never communicate or confide in each other. And if you continue to lay blame and never accept responsibility regardless of who is at fault this is going to prove to be a massive obstacle to jump over. A relationship is two people and this is why you have to work together.